How much of your true self are you taking to work?
At what point does our desire to fit in result in us giving up what makes us unique?
By Steffi van Kessel
If your partner, parents or friends would watch you at work for a full day, will they recognise the person you are in the office? Or do you transform into a more polished, “professional” version of yourself when you enter the (virtual) door? In other words, how much of your true self are you taking to work=
When we think of trying to “fit in” at work
We might think back to our school days. Now that we are adults, we no longer feel the need to adapt ourselves to the norm. Or do we? How often do you find yourself looking at coworkers as an inspiration for what to wear (and what not to wear), or using words that were not part of our vocabulary before you started with the company?
These examples could be innocent, as humans like being part of a group, even though we no longer entirely depend on it for our survival. Through evolution, humans have developed a desire to be part of a community. The yearning for connection often leads to us blending in to our surroundings. We spend so much of our waking time at our job, and our coworkers often spend more time with us than our close friends. It is natural that we like to feel connected to those we work with every single day.
Adapting ourselves to the company norms and losing parts of ourselves in the process creates a false sense of belonging.
Over time those little changes might lead to us changing our presentation style, sense of humor, and the way we show up at work. On the surface it may seem that you and your coworkers have a lot in common, but past the layer of company appropriate clothing and a similar vocabulary we do not truly know who we are working with. with all the hours we spend at work, it might become hard to distinguish or professional selves from our private selves.
We all have something unique to bring, a perspective and experiences no one else has. When we think about people in our lives that were truly memorable they are always people that were not afraid to embrace their individuality. Not only does being our true self create real connections, it also opens up space for creativity and innovation.
New developments never come from a group of people doing the same thing over and over again.
If you recognise the feeling of not being your full self at work, I would like to invite you to notice when you feel this the most. Which situations or people bring up this feeling?