When you feel like you don´t know what you are doing when really, you do
So many of the clients I work with have deep-rooted self-doubts when it comes to their career path. They are in a job where they constantly feel like they have to do better, or that others are doing much better than them. They want to take the next step or create a new opportunity, but feel like they can´t start until they have done more courses, or have gained more experience. Or they are in a position where they are looked at as an authority figure in their field, but finding themselves constantly focused on the knowledge and skills they are still missing.
Imposter syndrome is something that most of us are familiar with. I think everyone recognizes that feeling of wondering if we truly know what we are doing, or if we just somehow ended up where we did through luck and pure coincidence. Or that other people seem to naturally be good at things we aren´t as good at. We all wonder sometimes whether we have enough knowledge, experience and natural talent to be where we are, or where we want to be.
It is very natural to occasionally doubt ourselves and our abilities, perhaps even healthy. It only becomes a problem when it´s something we feel on a daily basis, or when it adds stress and anxiety to our lives.
Imposter syndrome means you doubt yourself and your own abilities, even when you are seen as an expert in your field.
In fact, it seems like as you become more of an expert, imposter syndrome increases, as the more you know the more you also realize how much you don´t know. You might compare yourself to others who are in a similar position and find that they always seem to have exactly the experience, natural talent or degree that you are missing. And so, you always feel like you are falling short.
This feeling often creates a pressure to just try harder. If you could just get one more year of experience, finish that one extra course or work on a specific skill, you will finally feel like you belong. Except that when you get there, you will realize that there is something else you need. This can become an endless chase for things outside of yourself that can validate that you are good enough.
When you experience imposter syndrome, you constantly focus on what you are lacking, rather than the value you offer . You might use perfectionism as a way to avoid criticism, mostly from yourself. It can even lead to procrastination, putting things off out of fear that you are not good enough. It takes away all the joy and excitement that you may have felt when you chose this career path
Imposter syndrome often comes from a deeper sense of unworthiness. The real issue is that you haven´t found the trust in your own abilities, the deeper sense of self-worth that means you are allowed to be there, to trust yourself.
Most of us tend to underestimate our own abilities. We see the things we are naturally skilled at as not that special, because it comes so naturally. Overcoming imposter syndrome means learning to see the value of what you offer, while also realizing you are allowed to make mistakes.
There is always another course you can do, always another program or skill you can master. Even if you feel confident about the actual skills directly required for the job, you could become a better public speaker, more sociable or a better leader. No amount of experience, degrees or time spent learning new skills will make you feel good enough. In fact, people experiencing imposter syndrome are usually highly skilled and educated, experts in their field.
We often look for external validation, for other people to tell us that we are good enough. But not all career paths have independent authorities that decide whether we are allowed to fulfil the role that you are in. Often, we need to give ourselves that validation. We need to give ourselves permission to do what we do, or what we want to do. To make mistakes, and not have all the answers, and still see the value in what we offer.
Ironically, when we stop looking for validating outside of ourselves and focus on validating ourselves, that is often when others start seeing our worth.
Truly feeling secure and confident in what you do comes from you seeing your own value, embracing your unique talents and journey to where you are now.
Not feeling good enough is a core wound that a lot of us feel on some level, and by both exploring this wound as well as learning about what makes you unique will help you act from a place of deep-rooted self-worth. The more you see your worth, the less self-critical you will be, and the less criticism from others will throw you off.
You have a unique set of life experiences, natural talents and personality traits that no one else has. As you explore your beliefs about yourself and the unprocessed emotions behind it, you create space to move forward from a place of valuing yourself deeply.
When you embody a deeper sense of self-worth, it is easier to accept that you have the right to make mistakes, to not know everything and to ask for help from others around you. No one can do everything by themselves, and the more you trust your own abilities the easier it will be to ask for help for the things that are not your greatest strength.
You can then do the course, gain the experience or develop your skills from a place of curiosity and excitement, rather than to fix what you consider to be flawed about yourself,
This is not an easy process, but it will absolutely change your life.
If you are ready to embrace your unique talents and move forward in your career with confidence, send me an email to plan an introduction call.