Feeling like you don´t know what you are doing when really, you do
If you are entirely honest with yourself, how often in your workweek do you find yourself thinking that you don´t really know what you are doing? Or that you got to where you are by being lucky, rather than by being talented? I hear the people around me say this all the time, and I have said it myself as well.
It is often said jokingly, and sometimes even as something we are proud of: we somehow convinced everyone that we know what we are doing. It feels like we cheated in a game and somehow got away with it. But underneath the joke there is often some truth: that a lot of us feel we are not really that good at our jobs, and that it is only a matter of time other people will figure this out as well.
It is natural to occasionally feel like you don´t know what you are doing. When you are trying something new or out of your comfort zone, you should feel like you don´t really know what you are doing. Feeling this way can motivate you to practice, to get more experience so you can get to a point where it feels more natural.
Imposter syndrome means that this feeling of not knowing what you are doing stays with you as you get more experience. It can feel as though you are acting in the role of your job title, rather than feeling like you earned it through your experience, natural skills and dedication.
How imposter syndrome manifests
Imposter syndrome means you doubt yourself and your own abilities, even when you are seen as an expert in your field. In fact, it seems like as you become more of an expert, imposter syndrome increases, as the more you know the more you also realize how much you don´t know. You might compare yourself to others who are in a similar position and find that they always seem to have exactly the experience, natural talent or degree that you are missing. And so, you always feel like you are falling short.
It can be tempting to constantly look what you can fix to feel more worthy of where you are. If you could just get one more year of experience, finish that one extra course or work on a specific skill, you will finally feel like you belong. Except that when you get there, you will realize that there is something else you need. This can become an endless chase for things outside of yourself that can validate that you are good enough.
Constantly comparing yourself to others, and being focused on what you are missing rather than what you offer can cause a lot of anxiety and stress. You might use perfectionism as a way to avoid criticism, mostly from yourself. It can even lead to procrastination, putting things off out of fear that you are not good enough. It takes away all the joy and excitement that you may have felt when you chose this career path.
The cure to imposter syndrome
When you feel deep down that you are not good enough at what you do, no amount of experience, degrees or time spent learning new skills will make you feel good enough. In fact, people experiencing imposter syndrome are usually highly skilled and educated, experts in their field. Getting external validation in the form of compliments from others might help for a little while, but they wear off quickly.
The real issue is that you haven´t found the trust in your own abilities, the deeper sense of self-worth that means you are allowed to be there, to trust yourself. We tend to underestimate our own abilities, see the natural gifts we have as not that special since they come so naturally.
Truly feeling secure and confident in what you do comes from you seeing your own value, embracing your unique talents and journey to where you are now. Not feeling good enough is a core wound that a lot of us feel on some level, and by both exploring this wound as well as learning about what makes you unique will help you act from a place of deep-rooted self-worth. The more you see your worth, the less self-critical you will be, and the less criticism from others will throw you off.
When you embody a deeper sense of self-worth, it is easier to accept that you have the right to make mistakes, to not know everything and to ask for help from others around you. No one can do everything by themselves, and the more you trust your own abilities the easier it will be to ask for help for the things that are not your greatest strength.
This is not an easy process, but it will absolutely change your life.
If you are ready to embrace your unique talents and move forward in your career with confidence, send me an email to plan an introduction call.