How we gently expand our capacity to receive and move beyond the familiar
During one of my sessions a client told me that as she took steps in the direction that called her, it felt like an invisible string would pull her back. It was as if something was trying to keep her where she was, rather than allowing her to move toward what felt more authentic and aligned.
This is a feeling shared by many others, including myself. We often feel a deep contraction in our body when we take steps towards the things we long for.
From a young age, we receive messages about what we’re allowed to hope for, and who we need to be to deserve love, fulfilment, or a life that feels deeply aligned. Over time, those messages shape an inner narrative about what is “meant” for us. Even when we don’t consciously agree with them, they live beneath the surface and create an internal limit around what feels possible and safe.
When we try to go beyond the boundaries of the familiar, we feel immense resistance.
While for some this resistance may come in the form of thoughts of self-doubt, for others, like my client, it feels like a physical urge to turn around and stay where we are.
It is important to know that this physical urge is not a flaw, but our body´s way of protecting us from the potential pain and disappointment that may find us when we step towards what we truly want. Our nervous system feels more comfortable staying within what is familiar, even when we have long outgrown it, because what´s familiar often feels safer than the unknown. We may interpret the physical discomfort as a sign that we are not ready (yet) to receive what we long for, or that we are on the wrong path.
A common reaction to that discomfort is to withdraw and move away from the opportunity that presents itself. We put our walls back up in our relationships, losing the opportunity for connection. We feel vulnerable in career opportunities and say no to things that could be great for us. Or we self-sabotage in more subtle ways: with procrastination, perfectionism, not sharing our true feelings or needs or starting conflicts to create distance. The result is that we end up back where we started, as if the invisible string pulled us back to what feels comfortable.
The other option is that we fight this resistance and push ourselves forward regardless of the resistance we feel. This may be effective, for a while, but eventually the feeling usually catches up with us, because we haven´t build up the inner safety to support the changes.
What truly supports your capacity to receive is a softer approach: honouring the resistance as a sign that you are entering new territory.
Perhaps you are going where no family member has gone before you, or into spaces you once believed weren’t meant for you. You are carving out a path that feels true and right, but also incredibly vulnerable, and your nervous system may need some time to catch up. You are expanding your capacity, one step at a time.
For others, these same steps may look easy. Not because they are more capable, but because they were taught, consciously or unconsciously, that support, success or belonging would be available to them. But what feels easy for someone else may be stretching every part of you, simply because you are entering ground your nervous system has never been supported in before. And for that reason, there is no need to measure your timing or growth against anyone else’s.
The invisible string is not a sign that you aren’t worthy or moving in the wrong direction. It’s simply your body asking for a moment of care. A pause to be with what you’re feeling, to breathe, to notice the sensations that are present, and to steady yourself before moving again. When you honor that pause, you give your nervous system time to catch up, and you quietly expand your capacity to receive, one gentle step at a time. Without the emotional residue, your nervous system will learn to feel safe receiving, and you can hold on to opportunities when they come along.
The art of receiving is a process that is less about action and more about softening into the trust that you deserve the things you long for. It is about expanding your capacity for joy, intimacy and trust by giving yourself permission to feel those feelings in our body.
If you would like some support on this journey and could use my guidance, feel free to send me an email.
If you enjoyed this article, perhaps you will also enjoy: