A somatic approach to emotional safety, self-trust and authentic living
When I first began training as a coach, I noticed how much of the approach was centered around logic.
Most approaches are focused on clarifying the problem, setting goals, and creating action steps. And that can be incredibly helpful and necessary. I believe most of us could use a little organizing of our thoughts every now and then and talking through a specific situation with a neutral person can give us new perspectives.
But to me, it felt like something was missing. Because we are not just minds trying to think our way through life, we are humans with complex feelings and emotions. And those emotions in combination with our past experiences often shape the decisions we make (or the ones we hesitate to make).
During this time I was experiencing a lot of anxiety, which showed up as a restless feeling in my body. Whenever my fellow coaching students and I analysed this restlessness, we couldn´t find a clear reason or solution for it. I knew on a rational level that everything was fine, but that didn´t stop my muscles from feeling tense, my heart from beating a little faster and my breathing feeling restricted.
I noticed that I wasn´t able to talk myself out of these feelings, no matter how hard I tried. And so I went on a journey where I read everything I could about our emotions, body and nervous system.
I learned how our previous experiences, upbringing, beliefs and family history shapes the lens through which we look at the world and how we make decisions. A lot of this process is subconscious, so we are not always aware of it.
In our society we are taught to value logic and reason over our emotions and our own experience of events. Most of us spend a lot of time in our head, solving problems and overthinking the past and future rather than experiencing life as it happens to us.
But experiencing emotions is an integral part of being human. Our emotions tell us a lot about our longings, values, fears and boundaries. They are part of a life well-lived, and when we disconnect from our feelings, we cut ourselves off from our life force.
While emotions are often accompanied by thoughts, they are primarily a physical experience.
You may have noticed that your emotions come with feelings in your body. Anxiety often brings a racing heartbeat, tight muscles, and shallow breath. Anger can show up as clenched jaws, tense fists, or heat rising in the body. Disappointment may feel like a heaviness in your chest or a hollow ache in your stomach. Through these sensations our bodies are constantly giving us information about how we feel.
As we move through life, we all experience disappointment, pain, sadness, fear and anger at some point. Most of us haven’t really learned what to do with these uncomfortable emotions, so we often learn to suppress, avoid or ignore them. We develop all these self-protection mechanisms to help us avoid feeling what we don´t want to feel, like perfectionism, procrastination, people-pleasing or hyper-independence.
When we learn that it isn´t safe to fail, to express our boundaries or to connect deeply with other people, we will do whatever we can to avoid that experience.
We can´t always explain why we feel a certain way, and we can´t think ourselves out of our feelings. But we can give ourselves space to feel them, to notice the sensations in our body as they arise.
When we give ourselves the space to feel into the discomfort of life, the anger, sadness, disappointment and fear that we didn´t feel safe to feel in the past, we also create the space to feel the joy, gratitude, excitement and deep connection that most of us long to feel.
For me personally, the more comfortable I became with my feelings and emotions, the more connected to myself I became. It created the space for me to move forward in a way that felt aligned and authentic, at my own pace.
In my sessions I use a somatic approach, where we focus on the sensations you feel in your body. I gently allow you to feel your emotions as they arise, so that you create space for something new to unfold.
When we have had negative experiences in the past, things that could be right for you can feel deeply uncomfortable. Part of the process is that you learn to recognize when something is truly wrong for you, and when it simply brings up discomfort because of old fear, disappointment or anger from the past.
During our sessions, I create a safe space for you to gently explore and integrate these feelings, step by step. I focus on cultivating emotional safety: where you can feel supported in expressing and processing emotions without judgment, and deepening your trust in yourself and your body.
The focus is on embodiment: to come into deeper connection with yourself through your body, emotions and inner experience, so you can live from a more authentic and regulated place.
In our sessions, I’ll offer gentle guidance as you begin to reconnect with your body’s sensations, at your own pace, restoring trust in your ability to handle and interpret the information your body provides.
Each session is tailored to your personal needs, rhythm, and pace, honoring your unique hopes, dreams, fears, and doubts, and the specific ways your body communicates with you.
I understand that connecting with your body in this way can feel new or intimidating at first. I want to assure you that our work together is always gentle and paced according to what feels right for you. There is no rush, only your own natural unfolding.
If you’re ready to explore the power of your body’s wisdom and begin a journey of reconnection, I’d love to support you in this process. Let’s start where you are and take it one step at a time. If you have any questions feel free to send me an email.
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Sitting with discomfort: how to navigate uncomfortable emotions
Soft courage: moving forward without overwhelming your nervous system