The effects of feeling lonely in life and at work, and the power of connection
Connection makes us creative and resilient
Feeling that we belong, that we are connected to others and seen and appreciated for our true selves is a deep human need. When we don´t experience belonging, we feel loneliness. As Brene Brown describes in Atlas of the Heart, ´at the heart of loneliness is the absence of meaningful social interaction – an intimate relationship, friendships, family gatherings, or even community or work group connections´. It does not mean being alone – which we all need from time to time, some more than others. It also does not mean having no interactions with anyone, but rather feeling disconnected from the people in your life.
The workplace is where we spend a large portion of our day. Even if most of our work is done online, we spend the day interacting with our coworkers in some way. When we feel connected to those we spend so much of our time with, we feel safe, which results in feeling calm and confident. From that place we can be creative, resilient and flexible to adapt to the demands of our work. When we feel calm and safe we can have healthy discussions, express our needs and work together to bring out the best in every member of the team.
Loneliness at work activates the fight or flight response
When there are no opportunities for true connection with other people, our nervous system feels unsafe. This can trigger a fight or flight response. In relationships, the flight response usually manifests as silence, distancing and isolating. The fight response looks like arguing with others, interrupting other people and fighting for attention. While heated discussions can be beneficial when they are respectful, acting from a fight response often creates separation, leading to more loneliness. This can become a vicious cycle that is hard to escape from.
The cure to both loneliness at work and the fight or flight reaction that follows from it is found in true connection with others. When we experience heartfelt listening and response from another person, our nervous system can move out of survival mode and into a state of calm and safety.
Cultivating a culture of connection and support
Investing in a work culture where connection and feeling supported are a priority has major effects on everyone´s ability to do their best work while feeling grounded and empowered. Practice what you preach is important here, so the leadership team really must embody this culture for it to be effective.
If you feel that your company could use some support in building a culture of connection and healthy communication, feel free to send me an email.